Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize