Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You're like the curious george of whores
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
