I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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