those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ketchup is God's man juice
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
