I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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