How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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