Where is the hickey?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
