OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
