the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
