dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
