You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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