Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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