he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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