So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
