the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
