I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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