he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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