Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
