Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
