I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
