I just pynch a tree in the face
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
