I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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