u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
