I wannas sexs uuuuu
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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