I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
