what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
