with your own penis?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
