Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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