Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
