8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
