haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
