he wants to bone in the snuggie
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize