So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
