She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
