But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It's Friday. Sex?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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