Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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