I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
