Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
