Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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