It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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