how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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