yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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