i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
