how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
