cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize