I want to have your abortion
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
