i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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