i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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