Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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