oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
