I've blown a few things in my day
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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