Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize