guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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