dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he shaved USA in his pubs
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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