just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
