here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
