The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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