why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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