oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
