you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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