butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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