I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
