im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
