Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
