you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
