My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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