I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
