It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
