the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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