we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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