i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
