Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
